I like it, it makes me happy.
I didn't come here to say much today. Only that I have decided to stop putting too much pressure on myself to be "Perfect", the perfect version of myself, to always be at the top. It's counterproductive. I can't handle the constant weight that puts on my shoulders. It stops me from ever stopping to breathe. It hinders me from knowing where the boundary exists between enjoying life and having a life that obligates more from you than you can give.
Lately I've been reading about workaholism and what the "traits" are that show an indication that one could be a workaholic. Not a nice feeling being able to map these traits to yourself and finally see that, maybe...maybe it's not just drive, ambition and unrelenting perseverance. Maybe sometimes, it's just a mere compulsion to work without any reason. Maybe I'm trying to avoid something. Maybe I'm trying not to think about something. Maybe I fear drowning. Maybe I fear not being seen as "competent".